Hey, Repo Man!
“The long and winding road…………………..”
It has indeed been a long journey with many twists and turns but we as a people have finally arrived. It is official. No longer can the point be ignored or debated. We the people instead of creating a more perfect union have simply gone bat shit crazy.
I have suspected that this was the case for some time now, and have witnessed a number of examples that almost convinced me. But the story today removed all doubt. Perhaps instead of ruing this rise in our national insanity we should take pride in it. We could come up with a cheer and maybe some of those big foam finger pointing hands reveling in the fact that Americans have indeed become the wackiest people on planet earth.
Our story begins with an act of supreme love. Dr. Richard Batista of New York was married to his loving wife Dawnell when she became very ill. Dawnell is the mother of their three children and in order to save her life the good doctor, in an act of unbridled love and generosity, donated one of his kidneys to be transplanted into his ailing spouse. The operation and transplant were a complete success and Dawnell recovered completely.
I do not know Dawnell personally, but I do know that she is indeed a loving woman. Unfortunately for Dr. Batista, perhaps a bit too loving. He discovered several years after the 2001kidney transplant that his wife had recovered sufficiently to be loving a new man and was carrying on a rather torrid affair.
Crest fallen, as one might expect a man in the doctor’s position to be, Dr. Batista was even more devastated when the ungrateful, but apparently still loving somebody else, wife served him with divorce papers. “There’s no deeper pain or betrayal from somebody you loved and devoted your whole life to,” the doctor was quoted as saying.
So far our story is sad and unfortunately all too common, but here is where the tale takes the turn that puts us over the top beating out all comers as the world’s nuttiest nation.
The doctor has now filed suit in court to get his freaking kidney back! Wow, talk about a repo! It appears that poor Richard simply doesn’t want his kidney sleeping with another man. I wonder if the soon to be ex-Mrs. Batista will have to pay depreciation.
Having been through the rigors of divorce court myself I can attest to the fact that in many cases body parts are lost as part of the settlement. In my case it was an arm and a leg and few other vitals that, while missed, have allowed me to hit the high notes in most of the songs on the Jersey Boys soundtrack.
At least for the time being Dr. Batista appears sane enough to understand that it is unlikely the court will order his slightly used kidney to be ripped out of his once betrothed. In lieu of his pound of flesh, or whatever the average kidney weighs these days, the doctor says he will settle for the paltry sum of $1.5 million. I can imagine that if he is successful his ex would then petition the court for an increase in her alimony to pay the debt reaffirming the old adage “Be careful what you wish for.”
All in all it remains proof that we have become completely out of our ever loving minds. It also proves that no idea is so absurd that a good $250 per hour divorce attorney can’t make worse. Or at least book a considerable number of billable hours trying.
Someone needs to have a heart to heart with Dr. Batista and let him know that while he may not be better off without his kidney, he is far better off without a woman who would rather share the love. He also needs to understand that it’s better to lose a kidney than it is to lose your mind.
Unfortunately it appears it may be too late for either one.
