UNhappy But Gay
This just in from the Gay but not Happy desk.
It has become blatantly obvious that some folks are just aching for something to offend them. And if need be they are more than willing to create something out of nothing. In Peoria it’s a sign in karaoke bar window that that has the Gay but not Happy community with their undies in a bundle.
The story being reported in the Chicago Tribune regards a bar that used to be a gay bar but is no more. The Quench Bar was located on Main Street for decades and was recognized by the locals as a gay bar. Ownership changed hands in the 90’s and the bar is now called the Elbo Room. The new owner decided to change the bar to a karaoke bar and while gay patrons were not refused service they were asked to keep their public displays of affection in check. Same sex make out sessions which had been the norm in the Quench Bar were no longer appropriate for the new owner. Even so the relatively small gay community in the area continued to frequent the watering hole.
I’m guessing it wasn’t difficult to discern the gay patrons from the straight patrons. Karaoke is bad enough but how many Broadway show tunes and Liza Minnelli songs can you listen to while you try to get a buzz off your rum and Coke?
In an apparent effort to increase his business with patrons more likely to sing Desperado than New York New York the owner placed a sign in the window of his establishment that read “We are NOT a gay bar. We are a karaoke bar!!! 7 nights a week. Diesel is down the street.” I can only guess that Diesel is in fact a gay bar and is located down the street from the Elbo Room. Either that or the owner is trying to help out a drunken trucker that lost his rig.
Either way, the sign went up and it was time to man the battle stations and prepare for incoming flak.
A gay patron named Nick Stroman snapped a picture of the sign and sent it out via text message to some of his likeminded friends. It wasn’t long before the bar had a group of gay but not happy boys and girls stomping their Doc Martins and Birkenstocks in disgust.
Three separate protests were held with a total turnout of about 40 people. Barbara Van Auken, a local councilwoman got involved and claimed she notified the bar owner that the sign violated state law. I question both Ms. Van Auken’s legal abilities and her motives. As I stated above, nobody was denied entry or service, the bar used to be a gay bar but was no longer a gay bar and the sign simply and plainly pointed that fact out. All it did was advertise the fact that this was now a karaoke bar. If that’s illegal than McDonalds should no longer be able to advertise that they serve hamburgers. As for the restriction on the public display of gay affection I would ask the learned councilwoman if they allow that sort of thing at the Peoria city council meetings. If so all they have to do is invest in a karaoke machine and some Peter Allen songs and they could solve the whole issue.
The real motive behind this feigned outrage became apparent when some of the protest organizers commented about going to Springfield to demonstrate in favor of legalized gay marriage such as was done recently in Iowa.
The local gay but not happy community has vowed to never set foot in the Elbo Room again. I can’t speak for the entire Peorian public at large but I’m guessing that even those locals that hate karaoke as much as I do will now stop by for pop.
At least until someone starts singing “Feelings”.
