The Art Of Apology
We have become quite adept at the art of apology.
“I’m sorry”. It’s easy to say. It must be. We seem to say it all the time whether we mean it or not.
Other than as an expression of grief where it is not used as an apology at all, such as “I am so sorry” said to the grieving widow at a funeral, “I’m sorry” has limited impact at best. That’s because it has various meanings depending on the situation. There is usually a whole other part to the sentence:
“I’m sorry” – I got caught
“I’m sorry” – you are going to be mad at me for a while
“I’m sorry” – I may have to deal with the consequences of my actions
“I’m sorry” – this didn’t work out like I had planned
Usually these two magic words have far less to do with remorse than they do with limiting consequence. They are kind of the first step in an attempt at the healing process, but not necessarily a good first step. Many times when we say “I’m sorry” we are simply attempting to close a page on what happened without having to actually change anything.
Just a month ago the US Senate unanimously passed a resolution sponsored by Iowa’s Democrat Senator Tom Harkin, apologizing to blacks “on behalf of the people of the United States, for wrongs committed against them and their ancestors under slavery and Jim Crow laws”.
This is the most disingenuous type of apology of all.
To apologize for something done by somebody else is tantamount to saying “I wouldn’t have done that”. It is an attempt to elevate oneself above the person or group that perpetrated the offense. It has absolutely no other meaning or relevance. It is as if the United States Senate apologized to the Vatican for the crucifixion of Jesus.
Quite frankly, the black community should be offended by this blatant attempt to pander their political support and pat them on the head like good little boys and girls. Senator Harkin said he was surprised that this had not been done 100 years ago. Well Senator, perhaps it is because 100 years ago our politicians were less pathetic.
6000 American lives were lost and $6 billion dollars was spent fighting over the issue of slavery. Over 360,000 of those killed were union solders, fighting against slavery. Over 99% of them were white. The war tore families’ apart and pitted brother against brother. The psychological damage and permanent physical disabilities caused by injuries is beyond measure. An American President was assassinated, not because of the end of slavery but because he was proposing voting rights for the freed slaves. If that is not enough of a commitment by the United States to those held as slaves then I doubt a meaningless bill 200 years later will have much impact.
Which brings us to this week at a picnic table set up just outside the oval office where the I’m sorriest President in the nation’s history will hold an apology-laden beer fest with the history of racial inequities once again the main topic of discussion. But please, look closely at the attendees of this photo op mea culpa-thon. It will be a black President of the United States and a black director of one of America’s most prestigious universities talking about how blacks have been held back to a white rank and file police officer.
The script to this absurd display is already written. The President will do what he does best, apologize. The white cop will explain that he was just doing his job and may even explain that he was taking the crazed professor into custody for his own protection. Professor Gates will do what he does best; prattle on about how the white man has been the black man’s problem for the past 200 years. He will also be dreaming of where to spend the royalty money from the book he will no doubt write about his harrowing experience.
Senator Harkin, I cannot apologize for slavery. It was a hideous practice but not one that I ever engaged in. But I sure am sorry to see we have come to this.
